Sunday, April 3, 2011

To Date or to Court, That is the Question

So it's been a crazy weekend.
But with beeeeautiful weather! 90 degree weather, blustery afternoons, and sunshine! It feels good to wear shorts again...
Today my mom, sister, and I discussed the hairy, scary topic of....

Dun dun dun!!!!! 
I know that there are very, very opinionated people on both sides of the subject, while others are on the fence about the whole issue and are quite content to stay there.  
I personally know people of both persuasions, and in the past, oh three years or so, I've actually hopped the fence completely on my beliefs. I hope not to offend any blog browsers, but I'm going to state my beliefs on the whole subject because this blog is my personal platform to spout my opinions on subjects... which is good because if I'm in a group setting chances are I won't speak out on stuff. 
I do not believe in courtship anymore. I did, once. But I've personally seen too much legalism in courtship and I believe that if a couple has been saved by grace and redeemed by the blood of the Lamb they are completely set free, are new creations, and are able to have a godly dating experience. I think the courtship view is good in theory, but it stands on the belief that you must live by a set of man-made rules to keep a man and a woman  out of trouble because they aren't strong enough. Let me ask this: if Christ is living in you, then how can you not have enough strength? Is it you or Christ who is going to be giving you strength? Is Christ not strong enough to lead you and the person you love in a righteous, God honoring relationship?

And if a Christian is completely free to live in the grace and love of God, then must a couple go back to man's rules in order to have a godly romantic relationship? To quote the Apostle Paul, "having been begun in the Spirit, are you now being made perfect in the flesh?" (Galatians 3:3)  Putting ourselves back under the law--under the bondage of man's authority--is putting the effort back on ourselves, on our flesh and our effort to try and have a Godly relationship. Where's the focus--on ourselves? Or on Christ? I believe it makes us self-reliant instead of God-reliant. Romans 8:14-15 says:  "For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.  For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, 'Abba, Father.'"

I have a real problem with living a life of grace and freedom then going back to man's rules to discover how to have a godly relationship with the opposite sex. 
Don't get me wrong, I believe in remaining a virgin until I'm married-- I've had a purity ring since I was thirteen years old. I don't think it's wise or smart to date 100 different guys just because they're there and dating is considered 'fun'. I believe you should date with a serious, non-flippant attitude. But I don't believe courtship is the only way to find your mate if you are a Christian. 

So there you have it. My two cents for the night.
Thanks for reading my rant! 
Feel free to chime in if you vehemently agree, disagree, or wager somewhere in the middle. I promise I won't bite!
Lena ><>

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